A realization

Ok, the title is a little deceiving, because I didn't come to a realization. However, I do know that I have a wonderful family, here on Earth and in Heaven.  The day my grandpa died has been stamped on my memory, I remember every detail of the day when I found out- I remember the song I heard in the limo on the way to his funeral, the weather, the anger I felt at knowing he wouldn't share in the life events he promised he would.  Today, my Aunt Joyce called me "Jenny". The name he called me, and more often than that, he called me Jenny wren wren. I dunno why. It brings a sense of warmth to my heart when I think of him. He was the singular man in my life that I looked up to, the one I compare others to. I am blessed in my husband, in my children alive and sleeping, and the two who are learning how to play crazy 8's in heaven with my grandpa.

The joy my husband brings to me can be matched by no other, he understands without me saying anything, the pain my heart feels. He reminds me that even though we have been given a hard situation to deal with, there will be better days ahead. I know my grandfather wasn't perfect, no one is. But optimism was one of my favorite characteristics about him. 6 heart attacks he lived through, and still he found the joy in talking to and meeting new people. Optimism is what I love most about Aaron. While I am temporarily looking at the negatives, he sees the opportunity to learn and grow from all of this. While I see the days ahead as a struggle, he sees them as a way to improve. A chance to be doubly blessed. Once with a child who was too good to be on Earth, and hopefully once again with a child for us to love without condition.

I know comparing the two men is not exactly pleasant for most. But it is comforting for me to know that I am married to someone who loves me as greatly and as unconditionally as the man who shaped the way I view the way men should act. They say that women marry men who remind them of their fathers. I am glad I married one who reminds me of a greater man.