The birth of Cameron Michael!

Our Cameron is 24 hours old!! What a crazy delivery journey it was!! None of my babies had gone to 39 weeks gestation, but my OB allowed us to schedule an induction for then, weds 8/19/2015. I kept the little chalkboard updated with how many days we had until we met him! My mom came into town to be here to help with Allie on weds 8/12. The 12 and 13, I just felt so run down. The afternoon of the 13, I got a really bad backache, centered right around my tail bone. It wouldn't go away no matter what position I was in- walking, sitting, laying down, tried hot water. None of it worked! I had told Aaron that, if that backache was the start of things, he wouldn't be going to work on Monday! I barely slept either one of those 2 nights. Maybe an hour here or there, the insomnia really got to me!! 

     On the 14th, I got up and had my one cup of coffee and got Allie dressed. We needed to mail out Rebecca's birthday gift and go to the store for a few things. I felt tired and cranky but otherwise ok- glad the backache was gone! When we got to the store I went to the bathroom and had my "show". The only other time I had this was with Nick, and my water broke 4 hours later. So I told mom we should make our trip a bit short because I still had some things to finish up at home. I texted Aaron that he may have to leave work early that day, and he decided to work from home the rest of the day. 

    About an hour after the bathroom I started getting cramps, they made me feel like my period was about to start. And the hip pain to go with it! We got home and I took a warm shower because I just knew Cameron was on the way and who wants to give birth with hairy legs?! Skipped lunch because I didn't really feel hungry, and put Allie down for a nap. Aaron and I walked for a while. By this time those cramps were real contractions about every 9-11 mins apart. So I wanted to keep active to encourage them to keep coming. Vacuumed the living room, did some dishes, and a load of laundry. By around 4pm they were 6-9 mins apart, 6 if I was walking and 9 if I was sitting. They were radiating to the lower part of my back. 

    Allie woke up from her nap and we all went for another walk. Contractions then went to 5-6 mins apart while walking and spaced out to 9 while sitting but they were much more painful. Ate a lite dinner and gave Allie her bath, didn't make any excuses to skip the stairs or squat! I had called over before dinner to l&d because if they thought this could be it, I didn't want to eat heavily. The doctor was supposed to call me back but he didn't. After I got Allie to bed I called back and talked to the same nurse. I told her I was having more show and they were closer but what what he said, it was the pain intensity and length of these contractions that I worried about. I explained that I remember that mine don't really get consistent even with pitocin. She said to come in and get checked. So we headed in, you know the whole 5 minutes it takes to get there from our house. I was still at 3cm, 50%, and -2 station but she'd see what happened in an hour. Every time I changed position, it brought on a contraction, but sitting still made the pain nearly unbearable! We got to the hospital at 8:30, and by 10, I was crying with this pain that was radiating down both legs when I would stand, and excruciating back pain. I made it to 4 cm, which isn't much but since it was progress I was admitted! I got something for pain iv, which I've never done before. It didn't take it away. It took the pain from about a 7-8 on a pain scale to about a 4-5. They were definitely noticeable but bearable with breathing and concentration. 

    After my first bag of fluids, they came to place my epidural. "Alright! My buddy, the epidural" I thought. Humph. He placed it and this time I got a button to use every 30mins for extra medication. I had never seen a pca for an epidural in l&d before but alright! She checked me and I was at 6-7cm, and the amniotic sac was bulging and even with her coaxing it to break, it wouldn't. That was around 12/12:30. Shortly after that, my bp went from 130's/ 70-80 to 80's/30's. Nothing was numb from the epidural except my left hand and lower arm. They increased my fluid rate and I sat up more which worked. Except then Cameron's heart rate was dipping into the 50-80's range with each contraction. She checked again to see if she could get my water to break with no luck. Called in the doc who broke my water and placed a scalp monitor on Cameron. That was at 2:30am. As soon as he broke my water I went to 9cm with a ton of pressure. The epidural never kicked in, I was nauseated and tremors get with each contraction, and some of those were 3 minutes long!! The doctor came in to see if we could push past the last lip of my cervix, and 3 contractions later, at 2:56am on 8/15/15 Cameron Michael Hecker was born!! Aaron and I got to feel his head as he crowned. The doctor (who wasn't my doc, but another doc in his practice) made a comment that "this isn't a small baby, huh?" He sure seemed small laying there on my chest! Not so small coming out with no pain medicine! We had skin to skin time, and Cameron went to be looked over. When they weighed him, I couldn't help but be proud that, out of 5 kiddos, I 1) had gone into labor on my own with no help from my old friend pitocin, 2) had done it largely unmedicated, and 3) delivered the largest of my 5! He was 7lb 15.3 ounces and 19.25!! Dark hair and blue eyes. After nursing him, he went for his bath and I got to clean up. 

     As soon as I sat up, I got a headache from hell right in the front of my forehead. I asked the nurse what she thought and she claimed it was too early for a spinal headache. She suggested maybe from the oxygen I had to wear when Cameron's heart rate had dipped, and offered me either ibuprofen or a Vicodin. I opted for the ibuprofen and went to see Cameron get his first bath. The headache kept getting worse and worse, until I had to ask to be taken back to my room and asked for that Vicodin. Cameron needed to stay under the warmer, so I laid down to wait for him, and guess what? The pain instantly lessened! I mentioned this to the nurse and she kind of blew it off as the meds working.

     We got to our recovery room and when I stood up to get in the bed- BAM! Headache is back. They offered more meds, but really after all the other stuff I got I just wanted to lay down. I asked if I could have caffeine instead to help, and they said I could order coffee. Nope, I sent Aaron home to get Allie and mom and bring me back GOOD coffee! Anesthesia came in around noon to say if the caffeine and hydration didn't work by 4pm, they'd do a blood patch. This is where they take blood from your arm and inject it into the epidural space and it acts as a vacuum to the puncture. I have seen it done in nursing school. Around 3:30, I needed to use the bathroom. I had drank a bunch of coffee, a Pepsi and a bunch of water! When I got up, I was a little dizzy but NO pain! I was standing up holding Cameron when they came back in and they were shocked! I was too! So we held off on the blood patch, which turns out was fine because my head is a million times better! 

      I sent Aaron home to sleep for the night. He can't breastfeed Cameron, and this couch the offer for dads is about as useful as sleeping on the floor. Cameron and I are getting used to our nursing relationship, and so far he's a champ. Easily rousable for feelings, latches ok. Except I just played pacifier for 2 hours lol. He's absolutely beautiful! Allie wants to take him home so bad "come on baby camera! Let's go!" She wants to hold him but doesn't quite understand that she can't just hop up when she's "holding" him. She gave him stickers and kisses and I think, will be one awesome big sister! 

Hello, it's been a while.

Dear Friends and family,
I know it has been quite a while, but there has been a lot going on over the last several months!  Allie was born July 30 at 12:35 A.M and is such a wonderful addition to our family.  She has really grown since birth, doubling her weight and adding 7 inches in length!  Her favorite toy right now is the ceiling fan, she hates bottles of all different varieties, and she loves smiling at Nick at the table!  Her favorite time of day is bath time, she has learned to kick and splash the water and she babbles at her reflection in the mirror.

Nick is doing well in school, with the exception of his talking.  We have tried moving his seat, but this boy talks to everyone!  Today he got a blue (above green woohoo!!) for not talking and completing his homework last night.  I am not sure why completing homework gets you to blue on some days and not on others, as he completes his homework nightly.  Sometimes I think his teacher gets overwhelmed with the kids and is a little more testy… she also suffers from migraines and I wonder if this has anything to do with some of the reasons Nick is moved down on the color chart.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner!  I cannot believe how incredibly quick this year has gone.  It has been super eventful, and I wouldn't change much of it, except the whole bed rest thing. That sort of limited our summertime fun, but at least Allie was born healthy!  We put our tree up this past week, and I know many of you thought, 'What in the world?!"  But, Becca, Lauren and Nick will be here for Thanksgiving, and with their dad for Christmas, so we will celebrate both at Thanksgiving. As we were hanging ornaments on the tree, I came across the ornament I bought in remembrance of "Henry", who would have been 1 year old this month.  Time does help heal the pain, but it's not easy to forget.  Allyson has another brother or sister she will get to meet one day, and I am very thankful for the little girl God has blessed us with in our little Allie Bear.

24 weeks!

We had our 20 week ultrasound on March 25. We got to bring Rebecca, Lauren and Nick and they got to watch Allyson on a big screen TV!  We were all very excited to see her moving around, even though I really had to pee!  My Doctor was performing an emergency C-section and was a bit late, so Aaron and the kids went out to get a few more things from the apartment. I had finally gained some sort of weight- a whole 5 pounds!  BP was fine too.  Dr came in and started off with, "Baby is measuring small, in the 7th percentile.  So at this point I am referring you to Maternal-Fetal Health for further ultrasound testing".  Ok... well that's a little bit of a shock, thanks for easing into that one! She then said that baby could just be a small baby, or that because of the Asherman's scarring- the placenta could have attached to that area and may not be giving Allyson everything she needs.  This would be called Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction (IUGR). She also said starting at 28 weeks we would have to come in for non-stress tests to make sure Allyson wasn't in any distress. And no work, oh, and bed rest!   "Ok, we got this" I thought.  So why was I in tears before I even walked out the door?!   That was not a great way to start out the week!

So I had my appt with the specialist, and Allyson had grown, just not enough to really catch up.  He decided he'd just change my due date and "that would help".  My regular OB does not agree with changing the due date because all of our previous ultrasounds have been right on target for a due date of 8/9. Specialist says with the new due date, she is now within the norm, just at the low end.  Her amniotic fluid levels were at the low end of normal at 7.3- norm is 8-18 for that age.  So, while the specialist said I could return to work, the regular OB says, nope. And we will now do weekly ultrasounds to check fluid levels and cord blood flow.

First weekly ultrasound came and I was excited to see my baby girl again! I have never had so many ultrasounds in my life, and I've had 3 kids previously! Fluid levels that day were normal, 12.6.  This past week they were back down to 8.1, with normal now being 10-18.  I am sitting pretty at almost a gallon of fluids a day already, and all they can say is keep up with your fluids!  So another ultrasound and regular appt with the OB on this coming Monday. Then a growth ultrasound on the 29th with the specialist.

IUGR isn't AS serious as some of the other issues that can happen in pregnancy, but for someone who has breezed through 3 other pregnancies with no issues, it's a little bit scary.  Her fluid levels are fluctuating in and out of normal range and she's small.  So what does this mean?  Amniotic fluid is her cushion, it helps develop muscle tone and she breathes/swallows this in preparation for life outside. If there's not enough in there, how do these reflexes grow?  There is a possibility that she could stop thriving in-utero before she is classified full term, and that has a whole other bunch of problems and obstacles.  Today marks 24 weeks, and doctors technically call her "viable".  So before this week, this baby that has been moving in my belly, has been playing with her umbilical cord at ultrasounds and waving, who gets the hiccups- wasn't "viable"?  She has all of her organs, they are functioning although not mature, but not worth trying everything to save?!  This makes me angry for some reason, even though we are on that cusp of what the doctors call "viable".

Allyson's crib is ready to go, and her dresser is in, we just have to go pick it up and hind help taking it upstairs.  I was bored the other day and decided I'd put her car seat together... It was already together in the box! I am quickly running out of things to do at home to keep me occupied, so now I wonder what I can learn to do that's new and doesn't break my order to "pretend you're a couch potato".

Before I let you go, here's a picture of our sweet girl:

Catch up!

So, it's been almost a month, and I bet you've missed me huh? Not really, most of the stuff is on Facebook.  Here's a pregnancy tidbit update-

Weight gain- 2 lbs. Wait, what?! Yep, one week away from being half way through and I have gained a hole two pounds!

Size of Allyson- about the size of a Mango.  6" from crown to rump, and about 8.5 ounces.

Movement- Yep! So exciting to feel her move, although I typically don't feel it while I am at work, she waits until I get home and start relaxing!

Craving- Yesterday I really craved Salisbury Steak with mushroom gravy and mashed potatoes.  Aaron thought about trying, but made tacos instead.   Add to this- anything cinnamon... Cinnamon gum, Red hots, Hot tamales.... My co-workers laugh at me because I come back from lunch with 2 or 3 boxes of those and they are gone in about 5 mins flat!

Morning sickness- no.  I wake up at 2AM thinking I am about to starve to death!

Next big milestone- Our anatomy Scan on March 25th.

Things we have bought so far- a few clothing items, bedding, and much of the larger items that we don't want to burden friends and family with- stroller, car seat and bases... My mom has also gotten us our pack-n-play/ bassinet combo!

18 week picture:

And it's a......

On Friday, Aaron and I went to a private ultrasound place to see whether we are going to have a new son or a new daughter.  A friend of mine helped me with a graphic for a card to be mailed out to family that live far away.  Here's the front:

Here's the inside:

All together, the poem reads- One, two, three four, these balloons will tell you more. Have two people blow them up, one will stay small, the other go up! And then, as we are sure you can guess, the larger one will tell you the sex! 

We included one blue balloon and one pink one, with one of them having holes in it so it didn't blow up. The cards and balloons went in the mail on Saturday and some of our friends and family got them Tuesday. Others got them today!  Here is a series of photos that will tell you what they found out!

That's right! We are having a GIRL!!! Allyson Jayne Hecker is due to join our family on August 9, 2013!  We are so excited!  Aaron even went out on Sunday and bought a new holster and ammo, along with a few summer outfits for her! Perfect way to start preparing for a new little girl. <3 

P.S. Others sent photos as well, and I will share them on Facebook. 

Waiting on an Egg Timer

It has been a while since the last update in October! On Oct 19th, I went in for the hysteroscopy to remove the scar tissue.  Surgery was a success, and completed in about an hour and a half.  I was put on hormones for a few weeks in order to regrow new tissue and hopefully have a cycle on my own.  I went back for a follow-up visit on Nov 8th.  All scarring was still clear, and since I really did cycle on my own, Dr. Odem gave the go ahead to start trying for a baby!

     It was really hard to wait to test, extremely hard! I even made a pact with a friend to not test until Dec 3rd, when I would be technically "late".  However, my birthday was on the 1st, and we were having people over.  So, on November 30, I decided to pee on a digital test- the only one I had left out of a pack that my friend Laura Bos sent me for my birthday!  I waited and waited for the little timer to do it's thing, but expected it to be negative because I NEVER get positives before my period is due!! I left the bathroom and put shoes on, and came back to this:

I was shocked! I had been following basal body temperatures, and fully expected to have to "try" another month! I had actually told Aaron that I thought we were out for the month!  I knew that Aaron was going to be late getting home, as he was going to the store to get my graduation gift.  So, after my initial "Oh, shit!" said to no one in particular but myself, I hopped in the car and went to the party supply store.  I bought one pink balloon, and one blue ballon.  I brought them home and tied them to Aaron's chair along with the test.  Then I sent him a text asking him to let me know when he was close to home. I can hear the door of the apartment building open because it squeaks, so I met him at the door of our apartment and told him he had to wait to come in.  I finally let him come in and he saw: 

He said, "Really?!"  He was so excited!! We went out to dinner at La Casa Mexicana to celebrate.  

December 12, I got pinned as a nurse! The kids were here and we all had a blast. My mom came in town, and since the kids were here, we celebrated Christmas a little early.  On Dec 3rd, I had blood drawn.  Hormone levels were 47, and they wanted them drawn again 48 hours later.  Levels are supposed to double every 48-72 hours, and mine only went to 74.  Which meant they would double every 73 hours.  Dr. Odem's nurse said they wanted more levels the following Monday, but to be aware that they've seen pregnancies be perfectly fine with those levels, or not go so well.  It was very hard waiting for the numbers, and was why I was always asking for prayers or thoughts.  On Monday, the nurse called to say that the number had gone up to 546, more than doubled every 48 hours!! It was still low, but she said not to start worrying yet.  We set up an ultrasound for the following Tuesday.  I was 6 weeks, and I was scared that we would get in there and not see a heart beat because either baby wasn't growing, or because it was too early. We had our ultrasound first and found this little human:

He or she was measuring perfectly at 3.5mm, WITH a heart rate of 109.  Dr. Odem said at that point we would expect between 95 and "one-oh-something".  I was on cloud nine!! He released me to see a regular OB-GYN, and I met with her this past Wednesday.  I explained to her my concern of getting farther along and then finding out baby had no heart beat, and she pulled a nifty toy! It was a hand held ultrasound machine, made by GE.  You can't hear anything on it, but as soon as she put it on my belly, I saw our baby! He/she had a great heart beat fluttering away! And looked like a little gummy bear with short little arms and legs! As of today, I am 9 weeks pregnant. We have another full ultrasound scheduled for January 28th and I can't wait to see Baby bear again!!!

So here are a few fun facts so far:

6 Weeks: Baby measured 3.5mm- about the size of a sesame seed!

9 Weeks: Baby should be 0.9 inches- the size of a green olive!

Craving: Salty foods

Morning sickness: Nope

Confessions

Stop thinking this is going to be juicy! I haven't been naughty or anything like that, at least not that I will put on here!  I do have a few things that I wanted to write about because it makes me feel better.

First, there are only 31 days of class related days until pinning! I am nervous about this for a few reasons. What if I don't pass the last 8 weeks of nursing school? What about passing that exit HESI that will cost me $45 a try after the first time? On to the bigger question- What about that NCLEX?! I am terrified to take those! From there, my mind wonders what kind of nurse I will be, where will I fit in the best? What path do I want my nursing career to take?

Second- Once I get something on my mind, it's really hard to stop thinking about it until it's over. Considering my diagnosis of Asherman's Syndrome, I wonder what I can do to help other women understand that a D&C is not their only option? How can I get that info out there, without seeming pushy? I have researched and talked about it over and over again, but it's all I can think about. Hind sight is always 20/20, but I still think to myself "I wish I hadn't trusted that doctor, why did I choose that option, why didn't she tell me there was a greater chance of this happening?" If I hadn't gotten the IUD, the lining would have been better and perhaps I wouldn't have had a D&C at all.  Perhaps we'd have a healthy baby here in the next few weeks.  My surgery is on Friday, and I question whether further surgery will be needed to repair the damage. When I do get pregnant again, will I worry incessantly over everything being OK? I don't even need to ponder that!

I want every woman to know that there are other options available, and I would be more than willing to discuss what I have learned with anyone who asks.  Here is a link to more information on Asherman's Syndrome for anyone who is curious.  If you are ever in the situation where you have to choose between a D&C and taking medications for a missed miscarriage, I really do suggest you visit this page and learn more. Ask LOTS of questions, including but not limited to: How many D&C's has that doctor performed that have lead to Asherman's Syndrome? Stick to the facts, don't ask for the doctor's opinion. Let's face it, it costs more for that doc to perform a surgical procedure than it does for them to write you a prescription.

Third- There's a little green monster who sits on my shoulder called "Jealousy" that has been showing up frequently lately. I feel tremendously guilty for feeling the way I do, and I won't put it here because I think it would be hurtful to others. Instead I will ask for prayers to help me deal with this in a constructive manner.