Confessions

Stop thinking this is going to be juicy! I haven't been naughty or anything like that, at least not that I will put on here!  I do have a few things that I wanted to write about because it makes me feel better.

First, there are only 31 days of class related days until pinning! I am nervous about this for a few reasons. What if I don't pass the last 8 weeks of nursing school? What about passing that exit HESI that will cost me $45 a try after the first time? On to the bigger question- What about that NCLEX?! I am terrified to take those! From there, my mind wonders what kind of nurse I will be, where will I fit in the best? What path do I want my nursing career to take?

Second- Once I get something on my mind, it's really hard to stop thinking about it until it's over. Considering my diagnosis of Asherman's Syndrome, I wonder what I can do to help other women understand that a D&C is not their only option? How can I get that info out there, without seeming pushy? I have researched and talked about it over and over again, but it's all I can think about. Hind sight is always 20/20, but I still think to myself "I wish I hadn't trusted that doctor, why did I choose that option, why didn't she tell me there was a greater chance of this happening?" If I hadn't gotten the IUD, the lining would have been better and perhaps I wouldn't have had a D&C at all.  Perhaps we'd have a healthy baby here in the next few weeks.  My surgery is on Friday, and I question whether further surgery will be needed to repair the damage. When I do get pregnant again, will I worry incessantly over everything being OK? I don't even need to ponder that!

I want every woman to know that there are other options available, and I would be more than willing to discuss what I have learned with anyone who asks.  Here is a link to more information on Asherman's Syndrome for anyone who is curious.  If you are ever in the situation where you have to choose between a D&C and taking medications for a missed miscarriage, I really do suggest you visit this page and learn more. Ask LOTS of questions, including but not limited to: How many D&C's has that doctor performed that have lead to Asherman's Syndrome? Stick to the facts, don't ask for the doctor's opinion. Let's face it, it costs more for that doc to perform a surgical procedure than it does for them to write you a prescription.

Third- There's a little green monster who sits on my shoulder called "Jealousy" that has been showing up frequently lately. I feel tremendously guilty for feeling the way I do, and I won't put it here because I think it would be hurtful to others. Instead I will ask for prayers to help me deal with this in a constructive manner.